A letter to Dennis (thoughts on suicide)

Dennis,

I so am simpatico with you on suicide. I have been so completely shattered by suicide that it's most probable I will never fully recover. When those I love contemplate the ultimate sacrifice, I am physically shaken. Suicide, like depression, is a black hole that sucks anything that travels within its event horizon down into it. It breeds more destruction than it ends. There are those who feel that it's easier for a suicide victim to "deal with it" than one to commit the act. I call "Bullshit". I have dealt with the fallout now longer than most of those I've known were ever alive. It is a specter that still haunts me almost daily. It's made doubly worse when I see it coming and am so seemingly powerless to prevent it.
No, Dennis, our feelings and pain are just as real as theirs was. Is it somehow easier for us to deal with life than they, when they've made it so much harder? Am I , somehow, more selfish than they? Am I the one who should be condemned for being "insensitive" when in reality I am the one who truly cared not they? I guess this is the price we must pay for being able to love.

March 3, 2008 8:49:00 AM PSTs